Family sit-down breakfasts on weekdays are now a thing.
I do not mean brunch in our pyjamas, where we can eat as much bacon as we want.
No. I refer to my good friend who was parent bragging (pragging) to me and describing how once a week her four kids aged under 15 have a sit-down meal.
At a table. With cutlery. And they make chit-chat with each other.
Then they go to work and school with full hearts and stomachs.
I must admit I was confused, intrigued and a little nauseous all at once when I heard this report.
Who has time to whip up pancakes and bacon in the morning?
Not at our house.
Mornings in our home are a blood bath.
Bleary eyes, frequent tears, meltdowns and tantrums.
And that is just me!
But seriously, my kids are good kids.
They are not angels, but in the morning, they are just slow.
Breakfast is toast on the go and we spend our time in a frenzied search for matching socks.
My kids want to stay in bed because they are not insane.
They do not want to hurry up like a soldier and they certainly do not want to find mislaid swimming towels, music books and sports hats.
Do not even get me started on finding a water bottle with a lid that fits it.
I need to introduce some reward where the kids get handed 10 bucks if they just get ready without whingeing, fighting or generally looking sadder than Whitney at the end of The Bodyguard.
And for the record this mum friend of mine has time to change the sheets every week on every bed in the house.
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This mum also cooks three cakes every weekend, so the family has plenty of morning tea for school lunches.
How did this lady and I even become friends, because my kids have had a banana for morning tea for about, oh, 376 years?
And yes, they are often half-black rotting bananas.
My poor children will need a lot of therapy one day.