Operation ‘Clean the House Up You Bunch Of Jerks’ is well underway at Buddina.
My bestie and her family of five are coming from Sydney to dog-sit our home at Christmas time.
If we were in the movies, the brochure would say come and spend 10 sunny days in a white Hamptons house on the Sunshine Coast that comes complete with three perfect pooches and Netflix.
The reality will be my friends and their kids will be bunkering down in a somewhat weathered home that needs lots of love and attention and three crazy dogs that sleep in the bed and bark if they even get the smallest whiff of a noise/smell/hint of a ghost in a cupboard.
The pool frequently has black spot in Summer and the rubbish bin has permanent grime around it.
As for the Netflix, well this part is true but at least once a month the remote to use the service simply disappears for a few days into some abyss where I imagine it sits with odd socks and 38 missing umbrellas.
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The whole situation of house sitting did initially appear a win/win affair. Our friends save a stack of rent money during peak holiday time and I know my dogs are living their best lives with trusted people who are not serial killers or hooking up on tinder dates with strangers in my bed.
But, like most things in life, the reality bites. So, we have 10 Sundays to get our pad looking less like a recycling tip and more like a family home where you won’t die of the plague or catch nits.
So, each night we have now replaced spending 20 minutes watching with TV with time to clean one draw or cupboard in the home.
It is warfare.
The kids moan. My husband groans. Everyone whinges and asks why we have to do such a boring activity.
I feel like moving out and going and living at Club Med for the next two months or at least just eating a packet of Tim Tams and watching re-runs of Friends. But onward we march to our glittering goal of a cleaner home with less clutter.
We can all pray for a Christmas miracle from Santa.
Sami Muirhead is a radio announcer, blogger and commentator. For more from Sami tune into Mix FM.
