We have been having a bit of a joke at home the past few weeks, since Old Mate declared that she was in a special category with Woolworths.
She received an email putting her in the top 4 per cent of shoppers with the national brand who took advantage of specials and saved money.
“Wow,” I said.
“You are a four-percenter. You are special.”
Now, every chance I got, I threw that line at her, which was at least fun for me and meant we were both getting our money’s worth.
Then, something weird happened – nothing to do with shopping, but quite a bit to do with percentages.
Since my semi-retirement, I have developed a passion for bushwalking and have been exploring the fantastic tracks around the Sunshine Coast.
So, I was returning to a track that I really enjoyed but in hindsight, I left it a bit late to leave.
As I went out the door, the ‘four-percenter’ asked me if I was going to take the ski poles in the shed.
I told her I had lent them to someone and, anyway, why would I need them?
The response was raised eyebrows and a ‘suit yourself’ look.
As I went through the gate of the track, someone had used a trimmed branch as a pole and left it there.
I took it with me.
It was exactly the right length.
The trip was all good and about halfway back, I saw an offshoot track that was called a circuit.
I presumed it would get me back to where I started.
There was a map there but, without glasses, I was no chance of reading it.
It was 3.45pm in a forest. What could possibly go wrong?
As I headed up, and up until my watch said 600m above sea level, the stick started to play an integral part as the track was gravelly, washed out, steep and getting steeper.
After about 30 minutes, I thought I had got to the top and started heading down.
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Just as I started to think I was home, up it would go again.
Every hill was steeper and longer.
I felt like I could touch the Glass House Mountains.
Fading light, no water and no idea creates a perfect storm, complete with a rising heart rate.
Thankfully, I made it out before dark, but wouldn’t have without that stick.
My dear wife telling me to take the ski poles makes her top 4 per cent.
Obviously, I am at the other end of the scale.
Ashley Robinson is the manager of Alex Surf Club and the chairman of the Sunshine Coast Falcons.
