What is going on in this topsy-turvy world?
Pies are in decline.
We are having a pie-atus hiatus with frozen pie sales dropping off a cliff.
New findings released by the Australian Bureau of Statistics, relating to where we are spending our money, reveal the average pie consumption among Australians has plummeted by 40 per cent from its most recent peak in 2020.
Our family is not following this trend.
We are pie fiends.
We love a good meat pie.
We love them all: Four ‘N Twenty, Sargents, Mrs Mac’s or the good-old Aldi brand.
And my close friends know my true love language is not words of affirmation or acts of service: it is pies.
My beautiful friends recently lost their mother, so I zipped around to Buderim with a family pie.
Nothing is better for a broken heart than a hot pie covered in tomato sauce.
My sister recently seriously rolled her ankle.
I did not bother with helping her clean her house or taking her pain killers.
Nope.
I just popped two pies in her fridge.
She would be lost without me!
And if we are really celebrating something special in our household, such as a birthday, then we lash out and buy party pies because nothing says ‘festive’ like a little orb of golden goodness and flaky pasty.
My friend Maya started my pie obsession when I first had my daughter nearly 13 years ago.
Maya made me a chicken pie with my daughter’s name spelt out in pastry on the top.
In a sea of sleep deprivation and swollen body parts, that chicken pie made me cry.
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And it tasted so good, I cried some more.
So since then, I have adopted gifting bought pies with reckless abandon.
Job promotion? Gift them a pie.
Engagement? Throw a six-pack of pies their way.
So I am not sure why we are buying fewer pies at the supermarkets as a nation.
Come on, people. Lift your game.
Sami Muirhead is a radio announcer, blogger and commentator. For more from Sami, tune into Mix FM.