Holy guacamole!
I bring you exciting news if you love your Mexican food and margaritas.
And if you do not love this delicious duo, well, you are not my type of person. You probably wake before the sun does and go bike riding in Lycra clothing.
Heaven forbid! No, thanks. I don’t trust people who do not like dogs or Mexican food.
So, this news was first shared with me by a much more serious and successful journalist than I will ever be: my good mate, Jennifer Nichols, from ABC News.
Jen broke the story that I thought should have been front page around the nation: jumbo avocados have been perfected and they are here to make your life so much more fulfilled.
Lorna Spackman is a very clever farmer and pioneer from Palmwoods who is 81 years old and she has invented a new tree that grows jumbo-sized avocados.
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I have seen one of these gigantic avos and they are jaw dropping.
Imagine how good life will be when you can have endless avo on toast for brekky or make guacamole for a dozen people (or just you) in one hit. Good times.
Each avo weighs on average 1.2kg and they go brown slower than many varieties.
They are around four times larger than those pitiful traditional avos.
I mean, avocados are tricky and sneaky. They are never ripe.
And then, for about three hours in one day, they are ready for eating before they turn brown.
This is way too small a window for my crazy life.
So, if you are looking for me, I will be at home whipping up cocktails in my favourite household labour-saving device, ‘the margarita machine’ (which may or may not just be a standard Russell and Hobbs blender from Big W) and eating my body weight in nachos smothered in guacamole and sour cream.
Not a bad way to spend an afternoon, in my book.
Thanks to local ingenuity, this girl’s fairytale is ending happily avo after.
Sami Muirhead is a radio announcer, blogger and commentator. For more from Sami, tune into Mix FM.