I am smitten with a new bloke in my life.
He is gorgeous. A bit of a show-off and a bit of a sticky beak but the sweetest character you ever did meet.
His name is Pete and my husband is sick of me swooning over him.
What I initially withheld from my husband to get some jealousy mileage is that Pete is actually a peacock (oh please, minor details).
The majestic bird roams free on a friend’s property in the Gold Coast hinterland and he was the highlight of our visit as we watched him strut around the place like a true rock star.
Pete would open his tail feathers in a spectacular orb of bright blues, purples and greens.
He absolutely loves the screams and claps and adoration from the women.
Our friends had a builder come to renovate an old part of the house and Pete did not approve.
The plucky peacock was screaming loudly as he charged the builder repeatedly in a clear display of disdain for the poor old tradie.
Apparently, peacocks are like dogs in that they are very protective and very loyal souls.
They are highly also intelligent.
For two months every year, our little show-pony peacock hides in the bushes because his flashy feathers have fallen out and he is embarrassed.
He waits out winter and then the razzle and dazzle of his fabulous technicolour plumage is ready to go.
Bless Pete!
There is true awe in finding something so visually stunning in nature that has so many wonderful secrets.
When it comes time to mate, Pete has a harem of up to five pea hens who he hopes to, um, you know (insert awkward peacock reference here).
This is clearly not a literal desire but the old lover does seem quite randy when it comes to spreading his love.
Pete roosts every night in the same tree and does a border patrol first thing in the morning to check all is in the right place and order is being upheld on my friend’s property.
I love my husband but this is more than he does some weekends!
Forget asking for socks and jocks this Christmas: let us all get peacocks.
A resplendent pheasant strutting around Buddina would make my day.
Sami Muirhead is a radio announcer, blogger and commentator. For more from Sami, tune into Mix FM