My tween daughter has an emotional-support water bottle.
Well, this is not actually true but this is how she treats her over-priced woke water vessel as she carries it around everywhere with her and calls it by name.
The brand of the bottle is Frank Green and designer water flasks are so hot right now.
Pugs and lattes are out and Franks are in, baby!
The social media set seems to take millions of selfies with pastel-coloured, portable hydration stations.
Frank Green water bottles have spread into our community the way cane toads insidiously covered the state and these water bottles are more expensive than some people’s weekly grocery bills.
My daughter’s bottle comes with its own set of rules.
We have to address it as ‘Frank’, it is huge and it sits at the dinner table when we eat.
It travels in the car when we go anywhere.
It comes along to do grocery shopping.
It even snuggles up on the lounge to watch a movie at night-time.
We are not allowed to touch it or even look at it most days.
I only wish my daughter would treat her messy bedroom with the same reverence given to this peculiar water bottle.
It reminds me of when I was quite young and super attached to my prized possession which was a bald Cabbage Patch kid called Alwyn.
In my teens I was obsessed with my Doc Martin shoes (biggest clothing regret ever was giving them away a decade ago) and always coveted my own pair of Air Jordan sneakers and those double-screened Nintendo Donkey Kong games.
All the cool kids had them and I drooled every time I saw one.
In my 20s, I lived day and night in my Levi jeans and thought I had really made it in the world when I bought the 501s home.
My 30s saw my favourite material possession switch to my mobile phone that was huge and purple and had a flip case. We all have ages and stages reflecting pop culture and expressing our personalities.
In my dying gasps of my 40s the material thing I love most (other than my rabbit and teacup collections) is my fancy Smeg kettle.
It is just a kettle and it is far smaller than many for a quarter of the price but I love my kettle to a point where most mornings I tell it how beautiful it is.
Frank is probably jealous.
Sami Muirhead is a radio announcer, blogger and commentator. For more from Sami, tune into Mix FM.
