I read a research article the other day that old mate would be absolutely chuffed with.
To be fair, it could be far better for my health and wellbeing too.
It appears after extensive research, German men are the best at it, while Australian men come in about fourth or fifth on a world scale, which is pretty good but could be better.
Now, if you are guessing it is drinking beer, it would probably make some sense but Mexico and Britain are at the other end of the scale, which scotches that argument.
However, beer does have something to do with it.
It’s not sex, as France and Italy would probably be in the top couple of countries but on this scale they are behind Australia in mid-rankings so it can’t be that.
It could be eating but again it’s not that, as the USA are near the bottom of the scale so that’s not it.
Right behind Germany is Sweden and Denmark so it could be that men in these three countries handle shrinkage better than the rest of us in cold water.
But while it is very close, it isn’t that either.
It’s sitting down to pee.
Apparently, 40 per cent of German males sit down to urinate and research says that it is far better for your health to do that and we all should be following their stream, I mean lead.
Now, apart from the health advantages for prostate and bladder issues, it would be a massive plus for me as it would stop my constant harassment from old mate about peeing on the floor, the lid, the seat and anything else in range.
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I must say I try hard to hit the target but apparently not hard enough as I am constantly hauled over the coals about it.
My take on the survey is obviously German women have laid the law down to their men about the same thing.
Forget about bladder health benefits, it’s all about mental health benefits: sit down to pee and life has one less drama to deal with.
I wonder what their toilet brushes are like? That could be the next problem the Germans solve for a skid-free toilet bowl.
I wonder what they are like at Tupperware lids, but that’s probably a bridge too far.
Ashley Robinson is the manager of Alex Surf Club and the chairman of the Sunshine Coast Falcons.