There are two types of people in this world: those who place lettuce on the base of a burger and those lunatics who put the lettuce near the top of the burger.
Another lettuce-gate was sparked this week when my friend, Jodie, sent me an SOS asking for some advice on what is considered the correct placement of the lettuce cup or leaf on a burger.
READ: Lettuce pray this crisis is over soon.
Jodie and her partner cannot agree on where the lettuce should be placed.
The big issues are not going to come between this Coast couple.
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It proved to be quite the dilemma when I asked around with my other friends on where they lean to with their lettuce preferences.
You see, I feel very strongly the lettuce goes at the base of the burger as it is a matter of structural integrity to keep the burger from falling apart.
It is basic gravity.
And it also acts as a form of waterproofing to keep the bun from getting soggy.
No one in the world likes soggy buns after all.
So, the correct placement (unless you are a serial killer) goes in this order: bun base, lettuce, mayonnaise or BBQ Sauce, meat patty, cheese, tomato, pickles, caramelised onion.
Get in my belly!
My crazy mate Todd says the actual correct order is lettuce in the middle so the order runs: bun base followed by mayo, salt and pepper, cheese, meat patty with melted cheese on it, lettuce, tomato, pickle, and beetroot.
I mean that seems an excessive amount of cheese and potentially bad for the health of your heart.
Kylie says lettuce has to go on the top because the lightest ingredient should always be stacked the highest.
Don’t even get me started with Ronnie who says lettuce definitely belongs on the bottom of a burger but went on to mess with my brain by adding lettuce should only ever be placed on a chicken burger.
You want a chicken burger now, don’t you? Me too!
Luke was adamant that the actual placement of the lettuce cup doesn’t matter as much as the fact you need to make sure it is perfectly dry so as not to ruin the bread.
Luke was also very passionate about the type of lettuce you need to use.
Iceberg lettuce is appropriate and has a great crunchy texture. Romaine lettuce is also a wise choice.
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Butterhead lettuce is a very bad idea as it is simply too floppy. Shredded lettuce just adds to the danger factor of spilling your burger down your shirt.
I always avoid the shredded lettuce.
So go forward and bask in the burger glory people and I do hope you are on my side and agree lettuce should always be at the bottom of a bun.
Next week, let’s discuss the order of taco ingredients.
Sami Muirhead is a radio announcer, blogger and commentator. For more from Sami, tune into Mix FM.