My dear other half is a wildlife carer.
Yes I know, she has had plenty of practice dealing with me over the years.
Her field of expertise is birds and, in particular, lost or found companion birds.
Our house at times resembles a cross between Steptoe and Son’s backyard and Australia Zoo, with my only places of solitude being the garage and the bedroom.
Everywhere else has either a bird in it or is within hearing or pooing range.
That was before I went away for a few days.
On return, as I carried my bag in the door, I found I had a roommate – a rescued pigeon who was now calling my bedroom home.
“Only be here for a while until he feels better.”
These are the words I have heard many times before.
And then comes the question: “What will we call him?”.
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We decided on Walter.
Now the thing about pigeons is that they randomly make weird noises in the middle of the night.
After a few days Dr Dolittle/Pet Detective locates another “special” pigeon in amongst her flock.
This one is named Paloma.
Not accustomed to each other’s company, the two birds were in a Mexican standoff for a couple of days.
But then the weird noises start in the middle of the night.
The birds have become more than just friends.
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After about a week of these goings on (in addition to the skidding and sliding I’ve been doing across the timber floor as my foot lands on loose bird seed) I come home from work one night to discover that the pigeon pair have been relocated to the other end of the house.
I remember thinking how thoughtful my dear wife was to do this, but I never actually thanked her.
A few days later I came home during the day to find the birds back in my space.
Why?
“I didn’t shift them because I was worried about you,” she begins.
“I shifted them during the night because you get up too early and you were waking them up. After you go to work I put them back in the bedroom so they get the sun.”
And here was me thinking she actually cared about me?
Welcome to my world, it’s a little like Night at the Museum.
Ashley Robinson is a columnist with Sunshine Coast News and My Weekly Preview. His views are his own.