A new year means a clean-out of the cupboard for many of us.
Croc footwear is being heralded as the ‘it’ item when it comes to fashion forecasts for 2023.
Yep, love ’em or hate ’em, Crocs have never been more popular.
Personally, I am a mad fan (not with socks).
But I did not know what to do with my late Dad’s size 14 sandals.
So, I turned them into garden planters and hung them on the wall. Bogan meets art.
This vertical garden piece is a most interesting talking point.
My good buddy on the radio, Toddy, has the exact opposite view of Crocs.
“I have formed the anti-Croc militia, because if Mondays were footwear, they would be Crocs,” Todd said.
“The reason Crocs have those little holes in them is to allow your dignity to drain out of them.
“Crocs are the international symbol of a person who has completely given up hope.
“And the AMA recently did a study into the effectiveness of contraceptives, only to find condoms are 98 per cent effective, the pill is 97 per cent effective and Crocs footwear result in a 100 per cent birth control effectiveness.”
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Fashion does have a habit of dividing us and also changing its mind.
Yesterday, skinny jeans were sexy but today it is all about baggy jeans.
I am quaking in my Crocs at the mention of some of the other big fashion trends forecast for the year ahead.
Leading the way is the moto trend.
This means dressing as if you are racing Daniel Riccardo on a fast car track.
The jumpsuit is most unflattering in my opinion and you are begging for trouble when popping to the loo.
Purple is also tipped to reign this year but it is only fit for Macca’s character Grimace as it is gross.
Fringed dresses are making a comeback.
No!
Simply no, unless you are Dolly Parton or starring in TV’s Yellowstone.
Feather trims are front and forward of the fashion darlings.
If you are happy to look like Ossie Ostrich, from Hey Hey It’s Saturday, then go for it!
But I say avoid feathers at all costs.
They bring on sinus and they attract stray animals.
And statement pockets are coming.
Praise the Lord! How many times has a ‘nice dress’ comment prompted you to yell to your friend in glee, “And it has pockets!”
I love stuffing little treasures in them: lollies, cutlery, money, lipstick and my to-do lists.
Okay, I am off to water my Dad’s Croc pot plants and I wish you all the best of fashion luck for 2023.
Sami Muirhead is a radio announcer, blogger and commentator. For more from Sami, tune into Mix FM.