Many years ago, I played in a two-day golf competition that was as much about entertainment and fun as it was about finding the holes.
That was a good thing for me because my golf is like my nose: one side to the other.
One of the guests was Irish/Australian comedian Jimeoin.
If you haven’t seen him, Jimeoin questions things – like why are oysters sold in dozens? Do they swim around in groups of six or 12?
Now, I mention this because I am contemplating semi-retirement, which could mean I am around home a little more.
That could be a problem for Old Mate, but more so me.
So, back to the funny guy.
He had a skit about the kitchen drawers – in particular, the second and third drawer.
He nailed it, but blew everyone away with what was in the third drawer: all the stuff you really don’t need.
So, I was thinking about this and retirement the other day when I was looking for something and then thought, ‘Maybe I could give him some material on the Tupperware cupboard, which is a complete bloody mystery to me’.
For a number of reasons, I can’t find stuff.
Or I can find the container but not the lid.
Or if I do find it, I have to move half the contents to get what I wanted – all to the exasperation of Old Mate who thinks everything is where it should be.
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It is quite effective in one way: when I get the urge to open a new packet of biscuits, I first have to look in the Tupperware cupboard to find its designated container, as per the manual on containers written by Old Mate.
If I can’t identify it by the front of the container maze, nine times out of 10 I don’t open the biscuits.
Surely, Jimeoin could do something with that.
And if he wanted to, he could add something about actually putting lids on containers properly, as I am challenged at that as well, apparently.
You have probably gathered that I might be in strife if I spend too much time at home – something I haven’t done in 40 years of being together, which is why we have lasted that long.
Happy anniversary, my dear.
It’s been interesting.
If you are looking for me, I am probably lost in the Tupperware cupboard.
Love you.
Ashley Robinson is a columnist with Sunshine Coast News and My Weekly Preview. His views are his own.