I am sorry to inform you I missed a big story in recent weeks, people.
It revolves around hot chips – a great passion in my life.
I was perhaps too focused on the daily bet we have in our family to see if Wayne Bennett will actually crack a smile on any given weekend with the stellar launch of his Dolphins team.
So far, he has not.
I was also caught up with the release of memes on social media of shih tzus dressed up as Star Wars characters as their obsessed human owners film this cute madness.
Look, I never claim to live a cultured and diverse life.
But back to hot chips.
A new twist consists of serving the golden strips of goodness, covered in lollies and hundreds and thousands, has left me with nightmares.
The loaded fries dish was unveiled at Sydney’s Royal Easter Show and is gaining popularity around the country.
The bizarre Gummi Bear Loaded Fries is receiving a mixed response, with some poor souls saying the gross combination tastes great.
Please!
Melted lollies do not belong on hot chips.
Finding the perfect hot chip has always been somewhat of an obsession of mine.
For the record, KFC has the perfect hot chip.
Plenty of salt. Not too soggy. Crisp. Always piping hot.
The perfect quantity in a little carton that you can buy from the comfort of your car and then cradle in your lap as you exit the drive through lane and eat the perfect chip in total silence.
It is a guilty pleasure.
Our corner convenience store at Buddina is called Norma’s and for $5, you receive heaps of yummy chips with chicken salt, all wrapped up in butcher’s paper.
That is a party waiting to happen.
If I go to a pub or restaurant, I am quite excited by a bowl of hot chips served with aioli on the side.
Fancy chips.
The best hot chips and gravy, in my opinion, is the downstairs café near the gift shop at the Sunshine Coast University Hospital.
And the Maleny Hotel will give you a secret serving of vinegar with their hot chips if you know who to ask.
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My mum has sour cream on her hot chips.
I am not a fan, as this borders on wedges.
And my sister loves a splash of Worchester sauce.
So each to their own with hot chips (except melted Gummi Bear lollies).
I wonder what Wayne Bennett has with his hot chips and does he look down at them with a smile on his face?
Sami Muirhead is a radio announcer, blogger and commentator. For more from Sami, tune into Mix FM.